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I learned these facts later, as I started clawing my way out of the protective cocoon of love, tranquility, and habit, wrapped around me by family, society, and myself. As my unfocused grub eyes were scanning the horizon for the notorious leaves at the tree of knowledge, I heard my grandfather’s voice: “Life is not a candy shop” and in the sunshine, I did not believe. But the leaves I ate were poisoned – the more I consumed, the hungrier I became… My grandfather was really close to getting the just of life, but for one “not”. Life is a candy shop, full of sweet things, which require currency. To conquer the store one needs a big grin. And some luck. Just as Cortez arrived in the Aztec empire on the same day my avatar the plumed serpent god Quetzalcoatl, the bringer of new beginning and knowledge, was prophecised to descend.
I am no Kafka's protagonist, but I too will one day wake up after a completed insect's metamorphosis. After all, I am a Scorpio, or a wild child of love, deep emotions, and strong will. I can say "I can reach the moon" and a bit more in Bulgarian, English, French, Spanish, Russian, and Hindi.
If words fail me, I try other ways of expression: taking pictures of flowers, juggling axes, fire twirling with socks stuffed with coconuts, taming wild horses, making human sculptures.
Sometimes I camp under the stars, and then sleep in tents, on beaches, benches, on docks and boats, covered by rain and shine. I dream of home and places close and afar, of Costa Rica and the US, of Bulgaria and outer space.
When I am awake I search for mermaids or simply observe the fish, I canoe, ogle at crocodilians and caress snakes, or build Lego models and concert stages.
When I am not dancing or listening to jazz and rock, I have been known to enjoy alternative fencing , or the mild warlike game of football.
Sometimes I shout with the world. When the echoes subside, I keep quiet, to hear the wispers of sunsets and the slidings of waves.
Pshshshshshs......Pshshshshshshs...the silent sounds of ripping silk...Please, I will not be a light-headed butterfly. I want to be a moth.